FAQs
frequently asked questions
1:1 SESSIONS
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I meet with clients online over Zoom or in-person at my office in Los Angeles for a session about every 2-3 weeks. During each session, you will learn various practices related to meditation, movement, breathing exercises, communication, and pleasure. In addition, you will learn the basic theory behind why each practice is impactful for healing and transformation within the body and mind.
At the end of each session, you will be given a homeplay assignment to complete in between our sessions. These ongoing at home assignments are essential for training the mind and body to prepare for deep healing and change in relation to experiencing safety, relaxation, and pleasure within the body. What you gain from working with me is determined by the time and energy you spend engaging with these various practices, resources, tools, and techniques.
No individual nor couple will be given the same order of lessons or practices. I customize each session catered to your overall needs, challenges, and goals.
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I recommend that all clients who are currently in therapy continue working with their therapist or mental health counselors despite working with me in one of my coaching programs. Receiving coaching in sexology, Tantra, somatics, and kink is not a replacement for therapy.
With this, if it becomes apparent that a client may need additional support, I will vocalize my concern as I am trained to discern whether or not I can fully provide for the needs of individual clients. The safety and well-being of all my clients is very important to me. I take my role and profession very seriously and feel compelled to protect all clients from potential harm.
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I encourage you to read my blog post How to Invite Your Partner to Explore Tantra With You.
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During all individual and couples sessions, both myself and all clients are fully clothed. When clients learn about self-pleasure practices, these will be demonstrated on anatomical models of the genitals.
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I only offer hands-on healing work to long-term clients who have made significant progress and have successfully integrated advanced practices. Typically, this looks like having more than 10 sessions with me or working with me consistently for longer than 6 months.
My intention is to teach my clients how to touch their own body in a sensual and loving way outside of our sessions and to become their own sexual healer. It’s important to me that I help people become truly autonomous and empowered sexual beings, and it’s difficult to make this happen if someone becomes dependent on my touch.
MISC.
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In my work as a sexologist, I use the word holistic to describe one of the motivations I have towards healing, wholeness & empowerment. Having a holistic approach means that I take various viewpoints and perspectives into consideration when helping others overcome their issues and conditions.
Holistic does NOT mean “homeopathic.” Homeopathy is a medical system based on the belief that the body can cure itself with natural substances like plants & herbs. While there is indeed a homeopathic lens I take into consideration, holistic means that I consider homeopathic remedies AND understand that people may also need things like medication.
Operating under a holistic lens means that I look at an individual as a whole, complex being who has various parts that are distinct yet interconnected & interrelated. I take ALL things into account such as their:
mental condition
physical condition
psychological condition
spiritual beliefs
morals & values
socioeconomic status
history of trauma
goals & motivations
lifestyle
substance-use & addictions
attachment style
gender & sexuality
relationship status
relationship style (monogamy vs. non-monogamy)
their elemental constitution (kapha, pitta, vata)
& yes, even their natal chart
Having a holistic lens is both Taoist and Tantric in which it recognizes that all parts of an individual may be distinct, but ultimately they weave together to orchestrate the fabric of an individual’s mind, body & spirit.
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In my work as a sexologist & Yin Yoga teacher I use the word somatic to describe one of the motivations I have towards healing, wholeness & empowerment. The root word “soma” is the ancient Greek word for “body,” just as “psyche” is the Ancient Greek word for “mind.” Simply put, somatic means, “relating to the body, especially as distinct from the mind.”
Sex & sexuality is often overly analyzed & intellectualized within our culture that worships logic & cognition & views the body as inferior to the mind. As someone who has a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology, I have realized in my journey of dismantling internalized white-supremacist patriarchal ideals that the body is just as wise & important as the mind & its cognitive abilities.
Ultimately, it doesn’t really matter to me how sex & sexuality operates within someone’s thoughts if it isn’t something they are embodying within their physical form. In other words, don’t TELL me, SHOW me. Walk the walk, don’t just talk the talk.
When working with clients & students, the mind is absolutely addressed & we DO work on transforming one’s thoughts & attitudes around sex & pleasure because I operate under a holistic lens that takes ALL things into consideration.
My work with others in the realm of sexology isn’t like talk therapy - the majority of it involves guiding others in physical & energetic practices that deeply transform the mind & body more powerfully than the mind could ever attempt to do on its own.
When it comes to trauma, anxiety, depression, numbness, pain, & other conditions, we can’t simply think way out of these issues, because these issues aren’t just cognitive issues, they are biological & physical issues of the body. The mind is a powerful instrument & tool for healing & transformation, but it is incomplete without working directly with the body.
SEX
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Yoni is the Sanskrit word for vagina that means “sacred space.” Lingam is the Sanskrit word for penis that means “wand of healing.”
Most words used in the English language to refer to sexual anatomy and body parts are rooted in violent, sexist, misogynistic, heteronormative, transphobic, white-supremacist, puritanical Christian ideals and views. For example, the root word of vagina means “sheath,” referring to the vagina as an incomplete object that is the counterpart to a “sword,” or penis.
Sanskrit refers to the body and genitals with affection, love, and tenderness that many people find healing or empowering.
The words an individual uses to talk about their genitals is a deeply sensitive subject and should be respected.
I ask all of my clients which words they would like to refer to their various body parts in order to create safety and healing.
TANTRA
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Lineage-based Tantra refers to a Tantra practice that is rooted in a long history of tradition that typically follows strict guidelines and boundaries. The type of Tantra I practice and teach is part of the Shangpa-Kagyu lineage of Tibetan Buddhist Tantra.
Kalu Rinpoche carried the Shangpa-Kagyu lineage of Tibetan Buddhist Tantra to the United States in the 1970s to Lama Tashi. Both Kalu Rinpoche and Lama Tashi gave their blessings and permission to Devi Ward Erickson to incorporate the Tibetan 5 Element teachings into the Authentic Tantra® modality. The Institute of Authentic Tantra Education pays deep reverence to the Tibetan 5 Element teachings as taught in the Shangpa-Kagyu lineage, as well as Buddhism, Tibetan Buddhism, Tibetan Buddhist Tantra, and the Bon religion. These teachings are transmitted according to lineage tradition, never diverting from the original teachings.
There are many philosophies and practices from Tibetan Buddhist Tantra that are not included in the Authentic Tantra® modality due to their sanctity and potent nature. What has been given permission to be taught falls under strict guidelines, as practitioners are rigorously tested in their knowledge and application of the philosophy and practices. Permission to teach these philosophies and practices is only permitted upon passing certification from The Institute of Authentic Tantra Education. Should any practitioner stop working as a practitioner of Authentic Tantra® by not annually renewing their license or having their license revoked, their permission to teach Tibetan 5 Element theory to others is also revoked, although they may continue to practice it for their own personal use.
These guidelines exist to honor and protect the sanctity of the teachings contained in the Shangpa-Kagyu lineage, as well as Tibetan Buddhist Tantra as a whole.
TRAUMA
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Like many other topics and issues discussed online related to mental health, healing, and psychology, trauma can be easily misunderstood.
Not every painful life experience is traumatic. Just because something you experienced was unpleasant or uncomfortable doesn’t mean it can be categorized as trauma.
Trauma can be physical, psychological, or both. Trauma can be a one-time event or a series of events. What distinguishes trauma from other painful life events is that trauma is experienced as an overwhelming event that the body is not equipped to process.
Trauma incites the body to “freeze” or “shut-down” because the body is in shock. With this, trauma brings significant changes to an individual’s overall well-being & quality of life that did not exist before the traumatic event(s) occurred.
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Physical symptoms of trauma
numbness
pain
sharp or burning sensations
irritation
aversion to touch
Mental & emotional symptoms
anxiety
hyper-vigilance
paranoia
dissociation
anger // rage
irritability
depression
addiction
eating disorders
self-harm
intrusive thoughts
obsessive // compulsive behavior
magical thinking
feelings of loneliness
isolation from others
Please understand that correlation does not equal causation. This information is intended for educational purposes, not to diagnose yourself or others. If you think you or someone you know may be suffering from post-traumatic stress, talk to a licensed health professional.
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Various examples of what may cause trauma in the mind, body, & spirit (this list is not exhaustive):
sexual shame
religious shame & guilt
physical abuse//neglect
verbal//emotional abuse//neglect
sexual abuse
poverty
racism
misogyny
homophobia
transphobia
body shaming
loss of a loved one
surviving a natural disaster
surviving violence
surviving a mass shooting
war
bullying
illness
injury
disability
marginalization
getting fired from a job
car accident
People can experience the same event, meanwhile, some may experience trauma and some may not. If a group of people in the same car are in a major car accident, it’s possible that some may experience trauma while others do not - it just depends on our ∿body’s∿ response to the event.It is NOT a cognitive choice - which means that “mental strength” has nothing to do with how we experience or process trauma. Cognition doesn’t play a part in the way that the body experiences an intense or overwhelming event. Trauma is a biological, physiological response - not a cognitive one (although the traumatic event may alter one’s cognition).
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It’s important to understand that trauma has to be healed through the body, not just the mind. Why? Because trauma is primarily a somatic process, NOT a cognitive one!
Trauma is stored in the body physically, so unfortunately applying cognition and rationale alone will not dislodge trauma and allow it to be processed. In other words, we can’t simply think our way out of a traumatic experience - we have to access the body directly to heal.
This is one of the reasons that positive thinking is not trauma-informed. While having an optimistic attitude and practicing gratitude can be beneficial on a cognitive level, it doesn’t address trauma that is trapped inside the body.
Healing trauma is not an easy process, but using tools such as meditation, breathing exercises, movement, and gentle touch work directly with the body to create a sense of safety that allows the body to process and release the energy from a traumatic event.
Trauma is not meant to be healed independently or in isolation. Having another person or a group of people who are educated, properly trained, and have the capacity to hold space for your process is absolutely essential in healing trauma.
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Being trauma informed means that someone:
knows what trauma is
understands how to identify trauma
knows how trauma shows up or reveals itself through people’s symptoms, communication style & behaviors
understands the effects of trauma in the body, mind & spirit
Being-trauma informed is essential in my work as a sexologist, so that I can understand when it is & isn’t appropriate to suggest various practices or exercises to my clients & students.
Many things that may be considered “healthy” for one person may be extremely detrimental for someone else. All human beings have the same needs but we all require different strategies to meet those needs. The strategies that help individuals feel safe, secure, healthy, nourished & whole is going to look different from person to person. Everyone is motivated by different things, so it’s my job to discover how to inspire others to meet their goals in an impactful way.
Being trauma-informed means that ALL of my clients, students, and workshop attendees:
have full autonomy & choice over their bodies at all times
are safe to tell me no
learn skills & tools for overcoming people-pleasing & using their voice authentically
are offered support, care & compassionate understanding - not judgement or criticism.