ODATS

Do you view yourself as a selfless individual who gets taken advantage of by others?

Do you often feel resentful that people walk all over you? Do you believe that you don't receive the appreciation you deserve?

ODATS can help you build a better relationship with yourself and others.

ODATS is a boundary-setting tool that can be helpful for breaking out of codependency, people-pleasing, and other unhealthy attachments or relationship dynamics.

Before committing to something or offering yourself to others,
I invite you run your decision through ODATS

OBLIGATION

People often confuse their motivation to people-please or avoid uncomfortable conversations as a genuine obligation.

Saying yes or offering gifts and services to others out of guilt often leads to a resentment toward the person you are offering your time, money, or energy to.

For example:

“I feel obligated to go to X's party.”

"I feel obligated to have sex with X."

"I feel obligated to help X move."

Instead being motivated by psuedo-obligations, I encourage you to be motivated by your authentic "yes.”

DESIRE

When you have a genuine desire to offer your time, energy, or resources, you can selflessly give to another without expecting anything in return. If your motivation is rooted in influencing the way another person views or treats you, that is manipulation, not an authentic desire to give that comes from your heart.

ABILITY

Do you sincerely have the ability to:

• Say yes?

• Attend?

• Offer your time/money/energy?

• Help?

• Fulfill this task?

Do you possess the tools, skills, or resources needed? Will you be able to replenish yourself? Will another area of your life suffer as a result?

TIME

Will saying "yes" make your life unmanageable?

Is there enough space in your schedule to

• make this commitment?

• agree to what is being asked of you?

• provide your energy or resources?

• be present in body and mind?

SAFETY

Are you putting your physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual health and well-being at risk? Are you putting yourself in a position of danger? Are you willing to lose something important to you? Are you compromising your values or needs?

When you check all of the marks on a regular basis in your decision making process, watch how your relationship with yourself and others significantly improves.

ODATS can help you develop genuine and meaningful connections built on honesty, vulnerability, reciprocity,and trust.

Download a free PDF of this resource below.