What is Sexual Empowerment?
What is sexual empowerment?
Is there a universal formula?
Is there a one-size-fits-all approach to sexual empowerment?
em·pow·er·ment
authority or power given to someone to do something
the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one's life and claiming one's rights
From my knowledge, experience, and perspective, I have gathered that there is no universal formula to what sexual empowerment looks and feels like to each individual person.
Some people feel empowered in monogamous relationships, while others feel empowered in non-monogamous relationships.
Some people feel sexually empowered wearing revealing clothing, while others feel sexually empowered by dressing modestly.
Some people feel sexually empowered by shaving, waxing, or grooming their body hair, while others feel sexually empowered with most or all of their body hair.
Many people have misguided, misinformed, and confusing beliefs and attitudes towards both their personal relationship to sex and their ideas of sex in general, so does telling people what to do, what to think, and how to feel about sex genuinely help their sexual empowerment? Or does it add more confusion, shame, and apprehension?
I believe that all people are capable of realizing their own wisdom from within when witnessed and supported by trusted confidantes. For me, guiding others towards sexual empowerment means working to identify their unique feelings, needs, desires, and goals in regards to their sexual experiences, their sexual expression, and understanding of sex in general. In addition, I teach people how to make the people around them feel more sexually empowered by implementing tools and practices that honor non-violent communication, personal boundaries, consent, and the art of giving and receiving. My intention as a sexologist is to make the invaluable resources and tools I use in my own life available to others in an accessible and down-to-earth manner.
To impose what sexual empowerment looks and feels like to me on to another person wouldn’t sincerely be for their empowerment - it would simply be self-righteousness. If someone feels happy, safe, respected, and pleased by something while honoring the boundaries and safety of others, is it really necessary for me to impose my will on them?
Telling someone they are oppressed because they shave their body hair is a hasty judgement.
Telling someone they are oppressed because they are in a monogamous relationship is misguided.
Telling someone they are oppressed because they dress modestly is ignorant.
We don’t always know what is best for other people. If we truly have the desire to empower others, it’s our job to understand them. Understanding comes by asking questions and deeply listening with an open mind and open heart, not judging, diagnosing, and making demands.